The Importance of The Extended Family
My auntie Jean just recently passed away at 101 years young. As the family's matriarch on my dad's side, she buried her husband, one son, five brothers, and two nephews over the years. Not to mention all her extended family and friends, which included my mom.
Aunts and uncles can be like second parents, while grandparents share a different type of love than the parents themselves. Cousins can also be like siblings; we have one cousin, Renee, who is like a sister since we grew up so close and have memories we share as if we were sisters. She even calls our mom "Mom." Every Sunday growing up, we had dinner at our aunts, uncles, and cousins' houses, never going out to a restaurant since so many of us were there. 7 in our family, 8 in one family on my dad's side, and 10 in a family on my mom's side. And with so many mouths to feed, a restaurant was never an option.
Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve dinners were always my favorites, even though there was an adult's table and a children's table at Thanksgiving. Not sure if I ever made it to the adults' table since there were so many older than me growing up. There was a secret veggie dish my aunt made several of every year, and we took a platter of it home with us, and sometimes there was some left when we arrived back home. At Christmas, we all assembled in the basement of my Bushi's and Auntie Jean's house, and it was informal and there was Polish food galore, cousins everywhere and fun for all. My older cousin, a firefighter, always dressed up as Santa, which was a big hit with the younger relatives.
History, too, is an essential factor to consider when raising children. When children understand and know their family history, they feel more in control of their own lives. For example, knowing how my grandparents made it from Poland to America has made me proud to be Polish, please jokes aside. Or stories from an aunt or uncle about their past helps children feel they are a part of something bigger. Learning about life in previous eras and generations and the hardships they overcame helps children learn to cope with their issues. These conversations are priceless, as the memories and wisdom carried by older family members will one day be gone.
It is giving us another reason why children need families that include a mother, father and grandparents including the entire extended family. It's a way to connect the dots and put together the puzzle pieces.
As I look back to this past weekend in Chicago for my aunt's funeral, my heart is warmed to spend quality time with cousins. Oh, the stories and memories we had to share. With her passing, the matriarch position was passed on to the oldest female cousin, we are now the next generation and will create new traditions to share with our children.
If you are reading this blog on cjcorki.com, you know that we wrote a children's book, The Marshmallow Mystery, which was about my auntie Jean’s brother Carl, our dad. She did have the opportunity to read the book before she passed, and I think she liked it since it was a story about our past in a children's book format.
The extended family performs several essential functions, but mainly it socializes our children, provides emotional support, and provides our children with a social identity.
Another great way to interact and connect with extended family members, particularly older generations, is to gather together and share and record memories. How can you record your family's memories for the next generation?