Or, maybe you are a Grandpa or Jaja? Traditionally, families in Poland were three-generation affairs, with grandparents, parents, and children sharing a household. Typically this was a patriarchal structure, with adult sons living with their parents and adult daughters moving to the households of their husbands. The older generation held the greatest authority. This was very common in the Polish community I grew up in North Chicago, IL.

Irish names for grandparents have not been widely adopted by the non-Irish, as the German Oma or the Italian Nonna have been, probably due to the difficulties of spelling and pronunciation. Most Irish children call their grandmothers Granny, Grandma, or Nana, sometimes spelled Nanna. Nana seems to be the most popular choice. Irish grandparents value staying independent and active. Many of them live alone rather than with family members. When elderly individuals do require care, their caregivers are usually family members. We also found this true with my husband's family which had Irish roots and had lived alone until his dad needed his sisters as caregivers for the last few years of his life.

After you and your grandchild are comfortable with your special new name, Bask in all the joy of bonding with your grandchild, but without the stress of having to raise them. To make the most of this special relationship, don't worry so much about dispensing advice to their parents, and focus on taking every opportunity you can to create memories with your grandchildren. It is very tempting to buy the latest game or toy and see their face light up, and that's fine. But experiences you share are often far more meaningful and will create memories that last a lifetime. My mom, Grandmother to our girls, pulled out my old toys from her attic and they still fondly remember these experiences to this day. She taught them the game Rummikub which is still a family favorite to play.

My dad, Grandfather to our girls, put marshmallows on a bush in the backyard every morning when they visited him at the lake. The girls would rush out to pick the marshmallows that grew overnight and it was documented with pictures over the years. However, one morning, he forgot and the girls were disappointed. In the last year, two of my sisters and I wrote a children’s book called “The Marshmallow Mystery” published on Amazon. This is the first book in a series of five about our dad and his relationships will all of his grandchildren at the lake house. Fishing, storytelling around the fire pit, and woodworking with the grandsons to name a few.

My husbands' parents were called Grandma and Grandpa by our daughters and oh the memories that were made over the years since they were only 20 minutes away and not in the Northern suburbs of Chicago like my parents. Grandma was a great cook and made pies to perfection. She taught our oldest how to make pies and shared all her recipes with her. Mainly pumpkin pies, and apple pies and our daughter still makes them every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas. She too makes them to perfection. Grandpa was a true character, his stories over the years were told over and over and over again. We all listened to them as if it was the first time we heard them. On the 4th of July, he would take the American flag off the house and wave it in the street as a flag send away. Yes, the girls thought it was funny but his neighbors thought otherwise.

Memories, whether you are a Grandma, Busha, Jaja or Grandpa should be experiences your grandchildren will remember and passed down to the next generation. Cooking and storytelling, yes, flag-waving send away maybe or maybe not. How do you plan to create memories?

Grandma or Busha? Which one are you?

Growing to be an Elder, Not an Older

Child labor, grandma says go for it!