Step-Grandparenting: Fun and Challenging

Navigating the uncharted waters of having a step-grandson can be a rollercoaster of emotions, a journey marked by the challenge of building bonds without the ties of blood. It's a delicate dance, balancing the roles of mentor and friend, while striving to create a sense of family that transcends traditional boundaries. The path may be strewn with hurdles, but each step offers the potential for profound connection and growth. As we navigate this unique relationship, we are reminded that family is not solely defined by genetics, but by the love, understanding, and effort we invest in one another.

 NOVEL, NEW IDEA

 My step-grandson gave me the idea for my new standalone sci-fi novel, The Underground Chameleon, An Android Against Authoritarianism when he was in middle school in White County, Georgia, before COVID. A young Teddy asked, "Why don't you write a story about a grandmother and her grandson running a detective agency? Let the grandson be an AI." 

 I thought we could write the novel together, but his interest waned after the first email about the plot and character. He is now almost twenty and an honor student at North Georgia College. I guess life can get in the way. 

 MULTI-GENRE AUTHOR

 I'm a multi-genre author; I finished a couple of crime novels, a traditional mystery, and a suspense before I got around to finishing the latest book mentioned above. Meanwhile, Teddy grew over six feet tall, lifted weights, gained muscle mass for football, and graduated with a scholarship. Through the years, we took him on a couple of short trips to Buena Vista, Georgia, to Pasaquan, a seven-acre compound created by the folk artist Eddie Owens Martin, and to Asheville, North Carolina, for an InterPlay.org theatre workshop. Still, we never went out West because other grandparents wanted time with him.

In September 2024, I’m going to Chicago for the International Association of Women Police Conference in Chicago, a gathering that symbolizes dedication and bravery. I hope Teddy can join me to witness this retired officer salute the flag and connect with former female law enforcement officers who have served communities worldwide. As a charter member of the Georgia chapter of the IWPA, my commitment to combating domestic violence and advocating for mental health support remains unwavering—issues that resonate deeply with the realities faced by police officers every day.

THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE

 Years ago, one of the key motivations for learning to text was to check in on my grandson. Though he is always polite and appreciative, he rarely opens up about his life. Unlike my daughter—technically my stepdaughter, but I raised her from infancy, so she is my daughter in every way—she was an open book during her teenage years, and Teddy remains more elusive. A very heart-warming event occurred when he filled out his high school senior form, which included a business proposal plan, I was honored that he asked me to review it. In his proposal, he mentioned his unwavering commitment to always take care of his mother because of her hard work. His dedication and respect for her make me incredibly proud as a grandmother.

 DIRECTIONS ARE NOT HIS FORTE

 Despite the crowded space, he still cherishes falling asleep with his grandfather on the couch, with the television blaring, a bowl of cold grapes, and a plate of chicken fingers by his side.

I'm reminded of his sense of humor and a recent Tharp family gathering held at High Falls State Park off I-75 near Johnstonville Road near the old homeplace in South Georgia. My daughter was riding with her father, Dean, in his truck, but Teddy rode with me in my loaded-down 2013 Subaru—such a special treat to be alone with my grandson. He shared about adapting to college life with several roommates. Priceless memories. Until, we unpacked the car and set up the picnic under the rented pavilion, and the others were nowhere to be found. 

 We checked in on my husband and Nikki to confirm their location. They insisted they were at campsite #10 and had the grill fire going. After much confusion, we discovered they were actually at Indian Creek State Park off I-75. Teddy hee-hawed.

 FINAL THOUGHTS

 Last fall, I took Teddy with me to my financial advisor, and she gave him a speech about saving and investing money. Teddy was astute. I was ecstatic. 

 All is good, but asking his opinion about current events elicits, "I don't know enough," or "I'd rather not talk about that issue." I wish he trusted me more to listen, not interrupt, and value his perspective, but maybe that's where mothers, not grandmothers, roles differ in a young man's life.

 In June, I was privileged to participate in a NYC theatre workshop @nytw79 Mind the Gap, an inter-political and intergenerational production written and performed at the Braver Angels Conference in Kenosha, Wisconsin. I met people from both sides of the political spectrum, ranging from fourteen to ninety-one years old. We interviewed and listened to each other to form the script for the show. 

 Through my daily interactions, I will continue to demonstrate to my grandson the importance of community involvement, and how voting and respecting diverse opinions are crucial for protecting democracy and the freedoms we cherish. I hold hope for the best in him and for our nation.