Raising Kids in 2022: What Grandparents Must Learn In a New Era

Thinking back to when I grew up, life was simple. Not only did I play outside with no adult supervision, I remember playing in the street. We played tennis, kickball and even baseball in the street. As cars would come, we would step aside and resume the game after they passed. When the street lights came on, we headed home. Walking a mile to school at four years old didn't seem unusual at the time. Or our summer excursion to the library to pick out books were all unsupervised. In first grade, I was responsible for walking home from school to make my dad his lunch. I would arrive at an empty house, except for our dachshund, Jadwiga. On the menu, soup, and sandwich. My mom pre-made the sandwich before she went to work; the soup, however, required a can opener and heating it up on the stove. All this taught me responsibility, independence, and confidence. However, things changed when I became a mom.

In the late '90s, we lived briefly in a small town in Nebraska. It wasn't unusual for five and six-year-old kids to have the same responsibility I had in the '60s. Kids played in the street, walked home from kindergarten, and yes, they were home by themselves. Being a protective mom, I wasn't comfortable allowing that kind of responsibility for my young children. Granted, it was a small town, but when we moved to Chicago, things that were allowed there would not be allowed today.

Letting kids play outside on sometimes questionable equipment without supervision was common, myself included. The children could walk to a neighbors house or ride their bike without me tagging along. Car seats only lasted until pre-school since you cannot carpool with that many car seats. We let our kids walk around barefoot in the summertime. They didn't seem to mind the gravel or hot blacktop. They could set up shop with a lemonade stand to earn some cash; our kids were 6, 4, and 3 at the time. My four-year-old was a wiz with counting money by then. Let your three-year-old rollerblade in the street? Yep, the joy on our youngest's face as he would race down the road. He enjoyed playing roller hockey in the street too. However, I did put my foot down to toy guns and un-educational cartoons, which most parents allowed in that era. The only exception was at Grandmother's and Grandfather's house, where they watched Tom and Jerry.

Did they get hurt? Yes, they broke bones and had cuts so deep they needed stitches. We were regulars at the ER. Did they get lost? Yes, but that wasn't because of lack of supervision. Our middle son would purposely wait until I was distracted to wander off. I would often say nobody would snatch him since he would scream bloody murder. But in reality, we didn't worry about our kids being taken back then. We had neighborhoods filled with kids whose parents were not hovering but home if the kids needed anything. They were also taught responsibility, independence, and confidence back then, even though I was much more protective than my parents 30 years earlier.

Fast forward to 2022, where parenting is a whole different ball game. In the last couple of years, children have been experiencing life without other children since COVID quarantine. An entire generation will be impacted by who knows what yet; brain development, social issues, and speech delays? Some parents are coping by "podding" their kids with a small group of friends. It requires children and adults in the pod to follow strict safety protocols, such as mask-wearing and social distancing, when they are in public or interacting with others outside the group.   When we were raising our boys, we limited TV and computer time. Today especially during the pandemic, it isn't unusual for kids to be in front of a screen six or more hours a day.

Outside of the pandemic, there are also some significant changes in how children grow up today. My kids grew up with google searches, but today's kids are growing up with Alexa and Siri. In the 1990's we didn't talk to our kids about the environment. Although we didn't litter and we recycled, it isn't the same social conscious attitude of today. Some parents and kids are going to plant-based diets. Since plant-based foods are more widely available, it is easier than when I tried to serve my kids veggie hotdogs, which they quickly spit out. Parents today are talking about gender neutrality and fluidity. Parents are starting to move away from gendered toys, clothing, pronouns, and names—not to mention dramatic gender-reveal announcements, which was never a thing in my day.

But similarly, I gave my boys toys that consisted of baby dolls, barbies, and trucks, which were purposeful for serious rounded playing, not a stand for gender neutrality. No guns were allowed in the house, plastic or otherwise. We didn't attribute any of their behavior as "boys will be boys." They could not fight or wrestle, which today would be called being "good humans." This way of raising kids seems to mirror how we raised our boys, but the reason's behind them changed: Climate Change, Gender Neutrality, Being a Good Human.

Technology and science have changed, but also terminology. We called parents that hover over their children helicopter moms. Now, the term is Spec Ops Mom, who track their kids electronically. Snowplow or Bulldoze Parent is when a parent plows through everything to ensure their child succeeds. What about the Sharenting Parent, defined as one who always has their phone out capturing an image to share. There are terms such as birthing parent instead of mom and human milk instead of breast milk. But words such as Permaculture, Freegan, Hothouse, and Climate Emergency are listed as the latest trends.

As grandparents, we can now reflect on the days gone by with what is called "free range" play. But instilling values through the next generations is still possible. We want our children to pull our values forward, but they will have their own beliefs. Look at the values of responsibility, independence, and confidence. This generation is teaching their kids responsibility to the environment. Independence by teaching gender neutrality. And confidence by demonstrating being good humans. Does it matter how they reach the same conclusion to the values you and your parents were raised? Instead of judging your children's new role as parents, learn the technology, terminology, and trends in parenting. It might not be as different as you think. For more blogs go to CJ Corki.com/Funtastical.