More Than Roses: From Goat Hides to Glitter Hearts

Ah, Valentine’s Day. It’s when everyone seems to see the world through rose-colored glasses, spends a little extra, and tries to capture love with heart-shaped treats, flowers, and, if you’re lucky, a dinner reservation that doesn’t cost three times as much. But before Instagram roses and fancy dinners, Valentine’s Day was much more mysterious, a bit odd, and sometimes even downright peculiar.

Long ago, Valentine’s Day was about Romans, fertility rituals, and yes, goat hides. My sister, who sometimes herds goats, confirmed these stories really happened. The ancient festival of Lupercalia took place in mid-February and involved young men running through the streets, gently whipping women with strips of goat hide to bring good luck and fertility. It was lively, wild, and completely confusing by today’s standards.

By the Middle Ages, Valentine’s Day had moved on from goat hides to courtly love. Writers like Chaucer connected mid-February with birds’ mating season, giving the day a romantic feel in England and France. Lovers exchanged elaborate handmade cards, which were more like tiny works of art than the cartoon valentines we remember from childhood. Imagine delicate lace, wax seals, and poetry so heartfelt it could make even the toughest medieval knight swoon.

One of my favorite bits of history comes from the Victorian era, when Valentine’s Day wasn’t just about roses and romance. It was also the time of the vinegar valentine. These sarcastic, often insulting cards were sold cheaply and sent anonymously to turn down admirers or make fun of someone’s flaws. Even the Smithsonian Institution has weighed in. Some cards were so harsh they led to fistfights and lawsuits. Imagine opening a Valentine that says: “Roses are red, violets are blue, you think you’re charming, but bless your heart, no.” Harsh? Definitely. Still, I think they’d go viral on TikTok if someone brought them back with the right hashtags.

Today, Valentine’s Day has become a huge commercial event. Every year, people spend billions on jewelry, flowers, cards, and dinners. Some enjoy the extravagance, but others, like me, prefer something simpler: a handwritten note, a favorite meal at home, and in my house, the yearly decision to skip crowded, expensive restaurants. My husband’s tradition is one single rose and a home-cooked dinner. For us, it’s about the moment, not the show.

Here’s the truth: under all the marketing, candy aisles, and florist lines, the heart of Valentine’s Day (pun absolutely intended) has always been about connection, whether romantic, friendly, or family. It’s a chance to pause in our busy lives and say, “You matter to me,” even if we’ve said it many times before.

Maybe there’s a lesson hidden in all these traditions, from goat-hide rituals to lace-trimmed poems. Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be a flashy, high-pressure event. It can be small, thoughtful, and even a little silly. Honestly, I think that’s better. The perfect Valentine could be a homemade card that looks like a preschool project, a dessert shared in the kitchen, or a purposely bad love poem that makes you both laugh until you can’t breathe.

This year, I’m bringing back another nearly forgotten tradition: homemade Valentine’s cookies. Not the perfect, Pinterest-style sugar cookies, but the kind you cut into uneven hearts because the dough stuck to the counter and you used too many sprinkles. These are the cookies you give to neighbors, friends, or even your garbage truck drivers, hoping a treat might inspire a little extra care with your trash can next week. There’s something very human about giving someone something imperfect but made with care.

History shows that Valentine’s Day keeps changing. I’m sure the Romans would be confused by heart-shaped helium balloons. The Victorians might faint at candy hearts that say “Text Me.” And people in the future will probably roll their eyes at whatever 3D hologram bouquets we invent next. But the reason behind it all, the human need to celebrate love in every messy, awkward, and beautiful way, will always stay the same.

So here’s my challenge for you this Valentine’s Day: skip the pressure. Ignore what Instagram says it should look like. Make it personal. Make it fun. Give someone a reason to smile, whether it’s with a corny poem, a badly frosted cookie, a daisy from your yard, or just saying, “I’m glad you’re in my life.” And yes, maybe even save that last piece of chocolate for someone you love.

When you take away the centuries of traditions, the flashy marketing, and the glitter, Valentine’s Day is, and always has been, about connection. That’s something worth celebrating every February 14th, no matter how you do it.