Lions, and Tigers, and Bears…oh my
Did you grow up chanting this line from the Wizard of Oz?
I know I did. Even though it was a 1939 film, The Wizard of Oz became a classic and a significant influence on most of our childhoods. Though not as dramatic as The Wizard of Oz, children of the 60s lived a life of wild adventure. The lions, and tigers, and bears, were limited only by our own imagination. We roller skated without helmets or kneepads, played tennis in the street, could be found hitting toy gun caps with a hammer, and were thrown into the bedroom with the sibling who had chicken pox, so you would "just get them already."
We could talk about sitting in the passenger seat without a seatbelt. The "safety" was Mom or Dad flinging an arm in front of us if they had to stop suddenly. Of course, the prized family possession was the trampoline where we were allowed to fly as high as we could…without a net. As for our health, my dad was a smoker of L&M cigarettes, so secondhand smoke was happening even before it became a "thing."
Like Dorothy, it is a miracle that any of us survived childhood! What a difference 4 decades can make in parenting!
Some of the dangers we were exposed to have naturally morphed into a better and safer solution. We now have seatbelts, airbags, and warning signals when our car approaches another a little close. This is definitely a better alternative to mom or dad's single hand "stopping" us. Parents now think about not smoking in the house or around kids. Smoking (or drinking) as a pregnant parent appears to be a thing of the past. All good changes.
Yes, some things have significantly helped make it a safer environment for a kid to grow up in.
So, why am I talking about parenting from decades past? Well, it's because we are the ones that raised the kids that are now parenting our grandchildren. Couple that with having just survived 2+ years of the Pandemic, and everyone is venturing into scary new territory. What is the "right" balance?
If we think back to our parenting years, you, like me, probably took a second look at how we were raised and adjusted our behavior to find ways to protect our kids from death or injury. So, we embraced rules to protect them the best we could. As grandparents, we know the safety of our grandchildren is top of mind for their parents. We must pay attention to safety with child abduction, human trafficking, and strangers at every turn. Add to it the hibernation our grandkids were subjected to, and the question that must be asked is how do we help the kids "just be kids?" Do we have a hand in that?
Our kids have technology at their disposal that was never available to us. Like the Scarecrow, they have a brain, and smartphones, tablets, and 24/7 cable combined with isolation may have been the required usage. As intentional grandparents, we bring the Tin Man's heart to help them balance device usage when with us. So the foundational memories your grandkids form are tied to experiences, and both of us bring the courage, like the Cowardly lion, to give them the balance of safety and growth.
So, what is our role? Our primary role is to observe the scary adventure. We can't make our kids raise them the way we think is best. Like Glinda, the good witch, the power to return the kids to be kids (Kansas) doesn't need ruby slippers but has to be figured out for themselves.
So, let us give our kids the space to tap their heels three times and repeat the words, "There is no place like home." Just like in the 60s, when everyone moved out of the way when cars came and when the cars drove off, our games resumed. Let's move out of their way, and maybe they will find the lions, and tigers and bears…oh my.
