Beware of The Ides of March: The Importance of Being Intentional in Life and Family
Nearly twenty years have slipped by since we lost my father, the steadfast patriarch of our family. That fateful day in March is forever etched in my memory. I can still hear the haunting ring of the phone in the early morning as my mom delivered the heart-wrenching news that he was gone. Tears well up in my eyes at the thought of it. He had just been welcomed into hospice care, yearning to spend his final moments by the serene lake he loved, surrounded by the warmth of his family. But God had other plans.
Grandfather and Tyler at the lake
We live our lives with an awareness of birthdays, yet the timing of our passing remains a mystery. The sudden loss of my mother ten years ago sent shockwaves not only through our family but also through the entire community she held so dear. We find ourselves grappling with the question, "Why?" Yet, in the midst of our sorrow, we remind ourselves that God is at the wheel, guiding us through the storms of life.
“Miss Us, Then Let Us Go”
On our journey, we should mourn the passing of those we lost, not for them, but for the void they leave in our hearts. Each of their lives was a vibrant 'dash' between birth and death, filled with stories, laughter, and love. Their memory serves as a poignant reminder of our own 'dash,' urging us to live with purpose and cherish every fleeting moment. By celebrating their legacy, we honor the lessons they imparted and the love they shared, which continues to shape our lives and guide us through joy and sorrow.
A Time for Reflection and Renewal
The Ides of March—most commonly associated with the fateful day Julius Caesar met his end—has long been a symbol of caution and change. While history paints it as a day of forewarning, it can also serve as a powerful reminder to pause, reflect, and become more intentional in our lives.
For grandparents, March can be a time to focus on what truly matters: family, legacy, and the wisdom we pass down to future generations. Being an intentional grandparent is not just about being present; it’s about creating moments of meaning and leaving a lasting impact on the lives of your loved ones.
“Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone.”
My children will always cherish the vivid memories of my dad's delightful shenanigans, a testament to his unwavering desire to infuse a sense of magic into his grandchildren's lives. Knowing their fascination with dinosaurs, he skillfully wove a tale of a mysterious dinosaur egg hidden in the depths of our backyard. His passion for the unexpected sparked a sense of wonder and excitement that captivated the kids, transforming ordinary moments into extraordinary adventures. It's this enchanting quality that I aspire to embody in my own life.
What Does It Mean to Be Intentional in Life and Family?
Being intentional means living with purpose and mindfulness. It’s the difference between reacting to life’s circumstances and actively shaping your experiences and relationships.
For grandparents, this intentionality becomes even more vital. The choices you make, the stories you tell, and the traditions you build help define your family’s history and future. It’s about deciding how to show up for your family, focusing on the most important relationships, and ensuring your time and energy reflect your values.
Examples of Intentional Grandparenting:
Prioritizing time with grandchildren: Schedule regular calls, visits, or virtual hangouts to stay connected.
Sharing your story: Document family history, write letters to your grandchildren, or record your memoirs.
Passing down values: Use family traditions, stories, and experiences to teach resilience, kindness, and gratitude.
CJ Corki’s Intentional Grandparenting Series sparks captivating stories and offers a delightful array of activities and carefully selected books designed to foster meaningful interactions with your grandchildren. Each component is thoughtfully curated to enhance connection and create cherished memories together.
The Ides of March: A Perfect Time for Reflection
With its transition from winter to spring, March is a natural time to reflect on your life’s direction and your role as a grandparent. The Ides of March can symbolize a turning point—a time to pause, reassess, and be intentional about the future.
Exercise Examples:
Tombstone: What would you like your epitaph to say? You know your birth date, but your death date will be distant. You can choose a mantra and an epitaph that capture what you want to be remembered for. Make the “dash” between the dates meaningful.
Obituary: Write a draft of your obituary. What do you want people to say about you after you are gone? Your obituary can reflect your aspirations and serve as a guide for your purpose, dreams, and goals in life. And it helps the next generation when the time comes to honor your legacy.
Organize Your Legacy: Organizing your affairs will ensure peace of mind and alleviate future burdens on your family. The book Plan, Organize R.I.P. is a comprehensive guide to help secure your legacy and provide clear instructions for your loved ones.
Taking time to answer these questions can help you refocus your energy and recommit to living and grandparenting with intention.
Practical Ways to Be an Intentional Grandparent
Intentional grandparenting is not about grand gestures but consistent, thoughtful actions that create lasting memories and strong relationships. Here are a few simple yet powerful ways to practice intentionality:
1. Create Meaningful Traditions
Traditions help build a sense of belonging and identity. Whether it’s an annual family trip, Sunday dinners, or reading a unique bedtime story to your grandchildren, these shared experiences strengthen family bonds.
My parents organized many family trips, usually taking cruises. These trips allowed everyone to come together and create lasting memories. Our family is starting a similar tradition, although we’re skipping the cruise. It’s essential to gather since we all live in different cities. I encourage you to choose a tradition that works for your family to help create cherished memories.
Christmas Cruise, 2006
2. Be a Storyteller
Your life is filled with big and small stories that can teach and inspire. Share your experiences, struggles, and triumphs with your grandchildren. These stories will become a cherished part of your family’s legacy.
My mom’s last words to me before she passed away were to write our stories down. She encouraged me to document my boys' experiences as they grew up. You might think they would remember these moments but likely won’t. It’s also important to share your life story and what you can about your parents and grandparents. Once you’re gone, those stories will disappear, too. Make a plan to share as much as you can. Your children may not appreciate it now, but in the future, when you’re no longer here, those stories will be cherished.
3. Listen and Be Present
In our fast-paced world, one of the greatest gifts you can give your family is your full attention. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and engage in meaningful conversations. Your presence and attentiveness will leave a far greater impression than any advice you give.
You have the experience to slow down, reflect, and be present. Help your grandchildren unwind from life's craziness. Walk together and listen to them, even if they don't have much to say. Be patient. Being away from electronics at first might feel awkward, but you'll create meaningful memories together.
Conclusion: Seizing the Moment
The Ides of March may have a reputation for warning and uncertainty, but it can also be a powerful opportunity for growth and renewal. As a grandparent, you uniquely guide, nurture, and inspire the next generation.
By embracing intentionality in life and family, you create a legacy of love, wisdom, and purpose that will live on long after you’re gone. So, take a moment this March to reflect on your journey and commit to being intentional in the relationships that matter most. Your family—and future generations—will thank you.
