Abracadabra: Bringing Magic Into Grandparenting
Busy parents juggle jobs, budgets, and their children's crazy schedules. Waking up before sunrise to take a child to hockey practice and then toting them to the soccer field seems to be the world's way. Organized activities from swimming lessons to gymnastics are packed into the parenting schedule. Fielding work calls from the game sidelines are just part of the work-life balancing act. Life can get complicated when you multiply that by more than one child. But if a grandparent is available, they can not only ease the burden of the daily routine; they can inject some magic into a child's life.
Our father, my boy’s grandfather, is a model for creating enchantment and wonder out of the mundane. Take an ordinary egg, for example. This everyday household staple turned into a dinosaur-saving adventure. Because the egg is cold (it came right from the refrigerator), it needed heat to nurture the creature inside. An oven could act as an incubator for the tiny dinosaur. Not too hot, but a low temperature for just enough warmth.
Where did the dinosaur egg come from? While the boys were digging in the front yard with their Tonka trucks, Grandfather cleverly put the egg into a hole in the ground. When Grandfather gleefully exclaimed, "You found a dinosaur egg!" the boys happily believed the tale. Of course, this caused chatter with the neighbor kids, who also wanted to find their own dinosaur egg. After hours of digging in their backyard, they returned frustrated and eggless. But with encouragement from Grandfather to persist and keep digging, they returned to their task. Fortunately, good-natured neighbors appreciated the tale and encouraged the imaginary story.
Make-believe is an integral part of the serious business of play. It encourages not only imagination and creativity but for kids to think for themselves. The magical play will develop their social and emotional skills as well as their language ability. The ability to think abstractly about an object other than the ordinary meaning will grow with this type of play. Depending on the activity, it can build small and large motor skills from digging a hole or picking marshmallows off a bush.
Caring for the dinosaur egg demonstrated empathy for other creatures. It showed the wonder of a potential birth. It was respecting nature and being concerned about something besides themselves and a sense of responsibility to all life forms, big and small. All of these values Grandfather exhibited instead of merely talking about them.
How do you become that Abracadabra grandparent? Take your cues from your grandchild. What sparks their interest? When my boys were little, they were obsessed with dinosaurs. At two years old, they could name them all. Grandfather understood their passion which directed his creativity toward this magical adventure. But if dinosaurs are not of any interest, choose something more enticing to that particular grandchild such as unicorns or puppies.
Once you have identified their interest, what values do you want to teach? If you are trying to teach patience, gardening might be an activity that engages your grandchild. To add magic, plant some marshmallow seeds into the mix. If hard work is a trait you want to instill, have them help you paint a fence. But add the fairy-tale about the magic paintbrush for some mystery. To teach self-confidence, play challenging activities like a scavenger hunt, “Can You Find?” They can find everyday items like a hat or something more challenging like a concept (i.e., something with a pattern or something bigger than your hand).
The Abracadabra moments in your grandchild's life are treasured forever. The values learned from you will be irreplaceable. But the bond that develops between you and your grandchild is priceless.
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