Traditions: The Importance of Past, Present, and Future Traditions to Keep Family Bonds
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy New Year to everyone. Whatever holiday you are celebrating, be mindful of not allowing commercialization to get in the way of the traditions. In 2021, everyone panicked about not getting gifts in time due to supply chain issues. However, the gifts are not what is important. It is getting together with family and friends with traditions old and new. When you light a menorah, the seven candles, or the advent wreath, you are strengthening family bonds. Traditions improve family stability, increase the feeling of belonging, and bring overall better well-being and health.
Since I was about five years old, Christmas morning consisted of working at our family business instead of awakening to Christmas gifts under the tree. The last Santa morning that I remember happened when I was about three years old. My dad made a wooden kitchen set for my sister and me, which gave us years of pretend cooking playtime. But when I was 4, my best friend told me that there was no Santa. Running home in tears, my mom met me at the door to tell me the true meaning of Christmas. From that day on, our family traditions changed forever. Although there were no more big Christmas mornings, we still spent time together at the family store.
Our family traditions morphed into Christmas Eve at my Bushi’s house (Polish word for Grandma). We would spend the evening with a potluck smorgasbord of Polish Food. Downstairs in her tiny basement, we ate on folding tables and chairs with our aunts, uncles, and an abundance of cousins. Santa would visit, played by my godfather. Afterward, we would go to midnight mass. The true meaning of Christmas with family and the birth of Jesus was celebrated.
As time marched on and family became scattered across the country with their own family, so we changed our traditions yet again. A new tradition of receiving an ornament as a gift with our name on it became customary. Hand-knitted Christmas stockings with our names carefully woven adorned our fireplace. A plate of cookies was set out by the stockings along with milk and carrots for Santa and his reindeer. The book, Polar Express, became a regular nighttime ritual. Christmas dinner would include breaking the oplatki (Polish wafer) while wishing everyone blessings for the new year. And my parents, now grandparents, would rotate who’s house to visit among their five daughters.
But time doesn't stand still for anyone, kids are born, and loved ones pass on. We keep some old traditions, but also begin new ones. After my dad passed away in 2007, my mom continued the Tradition of gifting an ornament, and this one was special, a Merry Christmas From Heaven ornament.
“I love you all dearly,
Now don’t shed a tear,
I’m spending my Christmas
With Jesus this year.”
After my mom suddenly passed away in the spring of 2015, the first Christmas without her was difficult. The Tradition of setting a place and an empty chair in remembrance began. Some people decorate the chair or put notes on it, remembering their loved one's time on earth. We had a place setting with China and Silver, but also her Crystal. I also read the letter she left for me to read after her passing. I wanted our boys to hear.
As we prepare for Christmas 2021, note which traditions you want to keep and which ones you may want to start. A tradition I still maintain is buying a new ornament every year to add to my collection. As of this year, it will be 34 years of ornaments. I always tried to get something from a trip, typically from our sister’s weekend, but I also have one from Africa and Scotland. I also have some just as a reminder of the year to celebrate or joke about. Breaking of oplatki at Christmas dinner is a favorite that we still include in our celebration. Our beloved hand-knitted stockings are hanging on our fireplace, ready for Christmas morning. My special Blueberry French Toast Bake recipe is always enjoyed when we wake up on Christmas day.
This year, you may be looking for new traditions to start with grandkids. If you live somewhere with snow, snow angels, skiing or sledding is fun. Learning about different traditions from around the world is educational and entertaining, especially if you highlight family heritage. But making your favorite family dish or cookies with grandkids is a good bonding time, even if you aren't Polish, German, Irish, African, etc. Kids love competition, so a Gingerbread House contest would be enjoyable and inspire creativity. Making Christmas ornaments or homemade gifts for their parents would involve teaching them the value of giving. Donating toys to shelters, Toys for Tots or other organizations demonstrates empathy.
With the Christmas Season upon us, which holiday traditions does your family have? What new ones are you planning on starting? Remember that having traditions strengthens the family bond. As in the story Fiddler on the Roof, the central theme of the Fiddler is being reliant on Tradition and faith in times of change and turbulence. "Without tradition, our lives would be as shaky as a fiddler on the roof," says Tevye in the opening number, Tradition.
